User blog:Scrav/Mediocre Rap Battles - David Cameron vs Nigel Farage
'Foreword' Some of you may remember that I told you I was going to record the rap battles I'm going to be releasing (audio only at first.) Well, that may or may not end up happening. There a lot of things I need first just to record audio, from finding people who can provide the voices for the rappers (other than myself) to getting the software and hardware needed. So I've decided to just release the lyrics to these battles for now. Anyway, this first battle is one I wrote a while ago and will probably only be understood by my fellow Brits, but it's the only one I've finished writing so far. I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. 'David Cameron vs Nigel Farage' MEDIOCRE RAP BATTLES! '''Are... are we really calling it that? Uh, DAVID CAMERON!' '''VS!' NIGEL FARAGE! BEGIN! 'Can I go now? 'Nigel Farage Yo what's up, Dish Face? It's Nigel Farage People, get this namby-pamby out and put me in charge Don't step up your game, save yourself the bother England's about to have a new chapter and I'mma be the author You can make quip after quip about UKIP But say what you want, you need to tighten your grip 'Cause you're a soft toff whose promises are starting to wear off With your pathetic credibility how can I not scoff? I tell it like is while you fill us with doubt Like those bloody Romanians, you need to get out You'll say anything if it'll get you elected, who'da thunk it? You can't see the mess you're making, call you David... Blunkett 'David Cameron' Well I'm sorry that you feel that way But the European Union is here to stay And if you carry on trying to make the public anti-gay You'll be going home empty-handed come election day I don't think I've ever seen a bigger ball of sleaze You're using the EU's own money to bring it to its knees? Your ethics are the last this country should be put through Everybody's love is worth the same but I really hate you And I'm blind? You undermine minorities on a regular basis And try constantly to make us believe that you're not a racist In summary, we have an evil lying prophet of misogyny Who won't shut his mouth but all that comes out is hypocrisy 'Nigel Farage' You make these accusations yet so many people like me Take Clegg's cock out of your mouth and maybe you'll be able to fight me Today you picked the worst person to try and clash with I had a plane crash but I rose from the ashes So no matter how you try to defeat me, forever I will strive To introduce our island to an ideology on which we'll thrive Whenever you are faced with an important issue you just skive How can you run the country when you couldn't keep your son alive? 'David Cameron' ...WINSTON! 'Winston Churchill' I fought on the beaches and I fought on the streets So I'll have no problem fighting a man with so few seats I'm the Right Honourable Churchill Representing England when it wasn't on the brink of coming to such a trivial standstill So though I probably have more pressing matters to attend to I took on the Nazis and I can take you on too Beating you with just my words til you're black and blue And I will never surrender like it's World War 2 People shut up and listen when I pick up the mic And tell them how I'll end your reign faster than I did the Third Reich So sick is what I'm spitting that wives put down their knitting And the words I'm transmitting get them helping unremitting I defeated a nation of racists Razed their abrasive, invasive ways of attaining a hateful oasis I've dealt with your kind, you're going to get dethroned Which I believe these days they call "getting pwned" WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE BECAUSE I HAVEN'T ACTUALLY WRITTEN THAT MANY OTHER BATTLES YET! MEDIOCRE RAP BATTLES! 'Poll' Who won? David Cameron/Winston Churchill Nigel Farage Category:Blog posts